failing for less

Just right before I woke up from my slumber, I dreamt that I had obtained a D for Business Law and an E for Management. The two subjects which grades are currently pending for me right now. How scarier can a dream get? And it's supposed to be out this week. And I need to pass them so badly. But the thing is, the way my grades were presented to me were in the form of my old high school method by way of a book and the subjects along with the grades were shown. And the rest of my other subjects also had Ds as I recalled. But I was more shocked about the last two than the rest. I feel drained now.

And this had to happen right after Christmas day and night.

usurper of my reality

That's what dreams are. Usurpers of the real life that takes away the somewhat exciting moments of undiscovered and unforeseen future situations that you can remotely predict will happen.

It was a dream unlike any other. Aren't they all? Concurrent to the real events in my life as told in this recent post, the dream last night has me renewing my passport and applying for my student visa at the same time. I don't know if you can actually do that, but the heck with reality in dream world as always. In this situation, the officer was giving me a really hard time and badmouthing me for whatever reason as he was "trying" to get my passport renewed. He was probably the worst government worker ever to walk the face of this earth and I had to get him to help me get through a simple process of renewing my passport.

Then, once the ordeal was over, the student visa application part comes next and I had to get him again. It's like we were destined for each other where he gets to torment relentlessly because he knows I need it desperately and I am forced to succumb to his torture and cannot do anything to make it better. The thing is that I think student visas are supposed to be done online so I don't know why mine was being processed manually by the fictional arsehole.

In the end, I do not know what happened to my visa but that was probably the most annoying, torturous and relatively 'civilised' scary dream that I've ever had to sleep through. Now I just hope that when I do get my passport renewed and student visa done, I'd get a nice, sweet young lady that won't give me much trouble at all. But everyone wishes for that when they deal with civil servants now, don't they?

yrch

Just a word I suddenly recalled from The Lord of the Rings book the first. Needed a title and that popped out.

On to the nightmare of last night. Well, it was a very short and brief one but I think it went something like this.

"The University of Melbourne regrets to inform you that you have gravefully been rejected an offer to study here."

Or somewhere along that line so goes the letter. Shocking. I'm starting to suspect that maybe there is something to this whole dreams being the opposite of reality theory. I just hope that it's true.

materialism

This has got to be a sign of some sort. I had a dream last night that I managed to acquire my utterly desirable and wanted black iPod at the Apple centre at 1Utama. There were loads of the units available and I actually got it. In addition to that, the Star InTech news section today did a comparison article of sorts on the more popular portable devices in the market today and guess which was one of the five featured devices?

Damn reality for being such a bitch.

sleepless and painful

Well, not exactly sleepless but definitely painful. Woke up with quite a sore body for whatever reason. Aching almost all over especially my back and arms. It could have been due to my lifting weights yesterday evening but I'd like to think that it was because of last night's nightmare that caused it. Sounds a bit freaky too.

All I remembered were lots of zombies aka the living dead coming to get me and this red gaseous substance being the cause for turning them all into these horrific looking things. It was really quite scary and I was literally running for my life like in those zombie flicks. I actually woke up in the middle of the night thinking that the red gas was going to seep into my aircon unit and I was going to turn into one of them and eat my family too.

Anyways, that was it. I don't know whether I did turn into a flesh-eating zombie in the end or if I escaped like in the movies. I think this happened because of watching 'Shaun of the Dead' several times over this past week and the fact that I'm getting slightly obsessed with the idea of playing 'Resident Evil 4' in the Playstation. So, it could be partially my fault too that I dreamed up such a scenario.

zealous subconscious

This isn't so much a detailed account of a dream last night, but more of sporadic recounts of several many bits and pieces of dreams that I encountered over the last few nights.

They were considerably odd and weird even more than before. I can't recall most of them now of course because I didn't think it was that important to record them the first night I experienced them. But, then it persisted for a few nights till last's one. The most significant thing about those dreams were that I think I dreamed up about four or five different dream scenarios in just one single night. Some were just totally unbelievable as in it'll only happen in your dreams while some were just too awkward to describe and felt like I was actually awake.

The scariest thing about it all is that I actually felt like I was really awake the few times before I woke up from my slumber. I just feel that one day I'll realize that my entire life's been a coma-like dream and then I finally wake up to this Matrix-like world or another dimension world.

I think I've been watching too much television. Or maybe just the cartoons.

double take

Took a while to return but I'm back again.

There were two previous nights when I experienced two different dreams. Why did it take me this long to post them? Don't know. 'Cause I felt like it I supposed. And because I didn't want to waste time using the slow dial-up connection.

First night; for the first time ever since I could remember dreaming, nothing out of the ordinary happened. It felt like any other normal day. No strange occurrences or weird people popping out of nowhere telling me something. Nothing extraordinarily odd happening to me directly. None whatsoever. It was strange that it felt so normal. Yeap. I can't recall what exactly happened but I can remember that I was in my room the whole time.

Second, or third night; it was a relatively short dream sequence. The mail arrived and there were two letters from UNSW. One was a rather slim envelope while the other was a big fat one. I immediately tore open the big one with excitement that my acceptance letter had finally arrived. To my dismay, it was directed to my youngest brother. It wasn't an acceptance letter but a scholarship/offering for him to study at their campus. It took me a while to register the information processing in my head. So that could only mean one thing. That the other thin pathetic looking one was for me. I nervously opened it and lo and behold it was a rejection letter telling me to try again next year because of some reason I forgot. It was akin to rubbing salt into the wound. Adding insult to injury. I felt horrible.

If what people claim is true, that what happens in dreams reflects the opposite of what is going to happen in reality, then I really want it to be this time. For the second dream, I mean. I don't mind the first one happening oppositely but just not too out of the ordinary.

sibling rivalry

Just barely over a month since I last dreamt something.

Well, last night's one involved my youngest brother and me. We were fighting, literally, over something in the kitchen when I think I started or maybe it was him who initiated it, punching and shoving each other until the other went down and hit the floor.

I don't think any of us got seriously injured or anything but it was a rather scary thing to dream about. I mean I get irritated and annoyed over my brothers' attitudes and habits all the time but I don't think I'd ever try to wrestle them down or anything like that since they're generally much larger than me in terms of height and weight.

I don't know who won or lost but the whole thing was pretty rough. And that was all there was to it.

catch me if you can

My mom caught me sneaking a puff of cigarette in my dream last night. It happened in a cafe place and I was trying to get away from my mom to light up. I was about to borrow a lighter from this guy at the far end of the place but she managed to follow me and catch up to me and it was over.

She said something along the line that it was my life and I could do whatever I wanted but that smoking is still bad and she just walked away teary-eyed.

I don't think I ever got that smoke.

I feel extremely bad right now.

kittens in the bed

Well, there has to be one because I don't remember throwing a blanket last night across the bed.

Alright, I've been having four dreams in four consecutive nights and this has never happened before. Last night's dream was more a nightmare and it seemed so real that I felt that I was actually back in college.

It was during the examination period and I was apparently in some place or airport, I can't remember, and I had to get to the examination venue in the next two seconds or else I'll fail it. It was an Accounting paper and the test was due to start at eleven in the morning. And of course there was no flight to get to my destination. But the strange thing was that the time remained stuck at just 10.59 am throughout the dream while I was bunglingly trying to get a flight back.

I can't recall whether I made it back or not but the whole ordeal was really scary and slightly nightmarish considering I just finished my finals last month.

'earing things

Three nights in a row, I've been having the same recurring continuous dream.

The 'plot' has me stealing this really expensive and priceless pair of earrings which I apparently have a cheap duplicate of it but I'm not too sure whether I really stole it or not because I can't remember what I was doing or where I was during the time the earrings got stolen.

The first night invovled me discovering that the earrings were stolen from a musuem and somehow no one suspected me at first.

The next night, I was the suspect. But I managed to convince them that the earrings were cheap knockoffs and not the real thing.

And last night, I managed to find one half of the pair of earrings but then after having checked it out for its authenticity, it was a fake. So, now I'm the prime suspect again.

The plot thickens. Am I the thief? If not I, then who and why? Stay tuned for the next thrilling dream episode of 'The Case of the Missing Ear-loom'.

I just had to do that. Sorry for the lame play of words.

night terrors

Alright. It's been over a month since my last one but here's my latest dream-capade that I can remember.

I was this investigator lady like in those cheesy horror flicks where the hot, rather clueless, and naive but means well detective lady checks out those weird abnormal ghost type activities that go bump in the night. Except that I'm not hot unfortunately, and I'm definitely not clueless like those dumb bitches in the movies. Well, I was back in my old school investigating some ghost activities but in the day-time. Whatever.

While checking out some stairways(?), I heard this weird screams coming out from the other side of the building. In my old school lingo, I think I was at the office building block and the screams were coming from the block behind it. So, I rushed as fast as I could to get there but encountered this little girl on the way who incidentally heard the screams too. She seemed frightened and scared quite out of her wits so I took her along with me. The screams got louder and the pitch ascended and descended rather erratically which freaked both of us out. Proceeded with even more caution when we met with my old Form 5 Modern Math teacher. I can't remember her name but she wasn't that pleasant back then and wasn't any nicer in my dream. She skeptically looked at us when we relayed our story but adamantly defended that there was nothing in the other block. She lead us to the other side through this corridor link thing between the two buildings and went to the top floor and reached the first class.

There were students in the classrooms and nothing suspicious looked out of place. Sticking with my gut, I asked the usual detective-esque questions but no one seemed to know what I was talking about. Then, there is a gap in my memory recollection in this point but it ended with one of the female students going to the front of the classroom and singing Avril Lavigne's 'I'm with you'. It seems strange now, nonetheless the girl was good.

The end.

disturbance

The glaring and nauseating thought of failing anything is enough to make me squirm and very narrowly want to die. No, seriously. How can anyone stand the thought of failing anything? I can't. I don't even know how to cope with it properly.

I have yet to receive any news about that whole Marketing test business. It's sorely depressing and making me anxious just thinking about it. I even had a wholly realistic dream last night that I failed my FLAW paper. Which I don't take till next month though I did hand up my assignment yesterday. I hope it's not an omen indicating I'll get a bad grade. I don't think my heart can take it.

Gah.

daylight robbery

Two dreams in a row in two nights. I think that's a first. Or at least since a very long time since my subconsciousness did that.

It started out in a 7-11-like convenient store where I was shopping for something, I suppose. There were these two fishy looking guys around too with some other shoppers as well. Then, the aforementioned fishy looking guys began to push us around with guns, I expect and suppose because I didn't notice them carrying or pointing them to us, and then this group of us who seemed surprisingly calm and unafraid went into this corner and stayed there for a while.

I think I make quite a cooperative held-up victim. Anyway, they proceeded to empty the register and then I notice myself was bleeding. I think I was shot in the stomach or abdomen area but I didn't feel anything. Not a single feeling of pain or anguish that would make me roll over and moan. I was just surprised that there was a wound there. Next, the robbers began to search our stuff for valuables and money and then left just as quickly as it was all over.

My purse was somehow still in my bag and then went to check its contents intuitively. My money was taken but then I saw what I thought was my credit card. I pulled it up excitedly thinking that the robbers were too stupid or zonked out to notice the plastic card, when I got a weird revelation. It wasn't my card but it wasn't even a real card at all. It was this ugly and unpretty forgery of a credit card but with someone elses' names on it. Yes, names. There were two credit cards in my purse which were fake of course.

One of the names on the cards gave the dream away and then I woke up to unfascinating reality. I'm not going to reveal the names here because it's classified information that will be revealed once I feel that the time is right.

ubiquitous self

Setting: My room and the front yard.

People in the dream: Me, my brother, a few unrecognised friends of the brother, my college friend, Just, and my Dad.

Event: I was in my room studying or something of that sort, maybe researching for an assignment, and the guys were in the front yard having a study group session of some sort too. I'm not sure why Just was there but he was so whatever. My Dad was outside too reading the newspaper, I s'ups, and that was it. Then, there was this ruckus where I got totally pissed with the "noise", even though now that I think of it, I don't remember there being any noise. So, I ran downstairs to confront them because I thought they were the source. I saw one of my brother's friends and proceeded to reprimand him like a crazy bitch from high school, and he just stares at me blankly, which I don't blame him. I returned to the comfort and sanctuary of my room, where I then woke up, and the dream is over.

Conclusion: I'm not a psychiatric but I think that the dream was trying to tell me that I have to break through my safety zone and confront my fears or something I've been dreading or dread. And the fears and dread are probably a feint or ruse and it is nothing after all in the end. Well, here's to hoping that the dream will make some sense to me in the near future or preferably the next day.

insomniac symptoms

Today is the longest and most tiring day of my life by far. Not because I did any strenous exercise or brain-busting work, when in fact I did the opposite, which is none at all.

The real reason being that I had a rather "bad" dream I suppose last night and have yet to fully recover from it. I can't remember a single thing from the dream other than that when I woke up, I just felt extremely tired like I didn't even sleep a wink at all and this persisted throughout the rest of the day.

To illustrate how exhausted I was because of the "dream", I actually managed to take a micro mini nap during a five minute break in my Accounting lecture class this morning. I never take naps, and am not known for that either. In fact, I'm supposed to be the "perky" one. Not sleeping or dozing off in class no matter how tired I was.

But no, today was different. I had to lie my head down and dozed off for a full five minutes before waking myself up to drudgingly slog my way through the rest of the lecture.

It's that darn stupid dream that made my day as horrible as it was. I'm slowly falling asleep as I type this now so I better go rejuvenate myself with a little music blasting and good hard work.

The last bit was a joke. And I know this post has no relation whatsoever to the non-existant dream I was trying to reiterate but I had to vent somewhere or else I'd go crazy.

something bad this way comes

Bad news that is. This so-called dream actually happened a few days back I think but I feel that I should record this down anyways.

As mentioned in my daily life blog I was going on about my Marketing Principles result. Well, the last dream I remembered could have something do with it or maybe even foreshadowed it. Whichever the case may be, I dreamt that I was witnessing a birth or maybe I was the person that actually was giving birth. It actually also could have been me just being pregnant. I can't exactly recall but it was really quite scary.

Anyway, I think it's been mentioned somewhere before or I read it some place that dreaming of a birth or that you're pregnant is a sign of bad news or a death to come. And then it happened, my dream so-called "foretold" I got "bad news" ie. a bad grade. Hence, the bad news or death omen coming true.

I really should pay attention to my dreams a lot more.

going batty

I think I must be going crazy. Seriously. I had another dream last night involving Batman. I don't know anymore. And it wasn't even the real life Batman but the animated Batman and I think I was in it. As in animated and all. Only thing is that I can't remember how I actually looked like animated. Darn it. I wish I could recall it then I could illustrate how I looked. That would be interesting.

Anyway, I can't remember a thing about what happened except for my being in it and there being Bats too of course. I think the setting was in Gotham as well but I can't be too sure since everything was dark and dank like.

Well, nothing else. Just needed a reason to post something. Back to studying. Now.

justice and more

Haven't had a nap like that for like it seemed forever. On to the dream of this afternoon which I just freshly woke up from.

It was a dream where I was directly involved in myself and the setting was in my own house. I think it'll make a little more sense if I told you that tomorrow is my cousin's wedding and wedding dinner. The dream had the whole entire extended family in the family's house like during Chinese New Year, watching TV, eating non-stop, and just talking. Except that it wasn't CNY, Justice League episodes were on non-stop, and we didn't eat non-stop but ate regularly for once. Right.

I just didn't get that JL part. Maybe it had something to do with me watching JL just a few hours before my nap. But, yes see I told you I've been watching too much JL. Soon, I'll have dreams involving myself rescuing some alien race alongside Supes, Batman and J'onn J'onnz. Don't ask.

Nothing much really happened in the house but it just seemed like hours that we were in that state without anything real happening. Like I couldn't get out of that situation at all. Then came the disgusting part. In my dream I think I ate or swallowed some food but didn't like it so I attempted to spit it out, albeit unsuccessfully, which resulted in my waking up on my bed with drool on my arm. Honestly, I don't drool. I sleep with my arm tucked close to my head. It was a one-off incident which I do not want to happen again. Ever.

I can't believe I'm sharing this embarrassing part with you but it's okay since not many people read my dream blog, right. Right?

trivial race

Haven't had a long and somewhat good dream in a while so last night's dream was a surprise of sorts.

I seriously think I've been watching too much Justice League, Static Shock and Simpsons. Let's get right on with the dream of last night.

It was an adventure type dream of some sort where I was in this Amazing Race type competition with other people as well. Except that I don't know or even recognise any of the other contestants who were there as well so I wasn't really bothered about that for some reason or other. We were first transported to this underwater place and then into this vast submarine-like vehicle. Except that it looked like a giant bubble to me, but whatever. The sub submerged into the ocean and six of us, including me, were brought to this circular chamber where we were then briefed on what we were supposed to do.

It was something like an obstable course where one by one, each of us would be released into the water, with oxygen tanks and all of course, and then we'd swim up to the surface as best or fast we could. We would be evaluated on how fast we could finish the course. Then, we'd swim all the way to the shore and race up to this building where we were to proceed with the next task. I don't remember how deep we were actually at but it was very dark in the water. Miraculously I survived and without breaking into a panic. Somehow I don't see this playing out in real life as accurately as my dream did.

The next task had us assembling some gadget of sort. Kind of like those KH woodwork or electronic things that we did several years back. Mine was kind of a mess as I couldn't find all the parts I needed and I got really frustrated and pissed that two people already passed me. Finally, it was done, and I still don't know or recall what I actually had to construct, and then it was back into the water where we had to swim again to this platform in the middle of the sea.

Then I opened my eyes to a bad stuffed nose and teary eyes. I really wanted to know where I stood and how long it took me to finish it. But yes, I'm surprised I could remember so much stuff from my dream as my memory isn't that good. This has got to be the longest dream recorded in this blog yet.

accidental dreamer

Back to my dreaming state again. It feels nice to post something here again after a while.

Well, I dreamt I was involved in an accident with two cars last night. Pretty real too. I was driving the CRV when I stopped barely an inch away from this Kancil ahead me when another car, a Camry I think or maybe it was a Proton Wira, smashed into the rear of my car. I think I actually got down and started scolding and screaming at the lady driver and even demanded that I take down her car number and her number as well. But she wouldn't give it to me and demanded for my number instead. She crashed into me! It's her damn bloody fault! I was seriously freaking angry and just wanted to slap her bitch ass face when my eyes opened to the semi darkness that enveloped my room.

It really felt a whole lot more realistic than how I described it.

Oh, and the Kancil just disappeared from view for some reason or other.

cartoon land

I really thing I've been watching to much cartoons. Specifically "Teen Titans", "The Powerpuff Girls", "Dexter's Laboratory", and "All Grown Up".

Last night's dream involved the five members of the Teen Titans. It was a movie dream this time where I was the watcher instead of the one inside the dream. The details are a bit fuzzy now but I remembered that they were in their Titan Tower. Doing something.

And.

Everything else is a blur after that. Damn it. My dream recollection ability is slipping through my fingers so fast. Basically, the dream sequence played out like a regular TT episode on Cartoon Network.

Until next dream. Sweet subconscious thinking everyone.

midterm mayhem

The stress of uni life must be getting to me earlier than I thought.

Last night's nightmare involved my three uni mates that I hang out with and myself. We were in my house chatting and discussing about our midterm results which somehow wasn't so good or as well as we'd expect them to be. It was really quite unnerving since my midterms are only a week away from Monday. I remembered my aunt was there too discussing our results which just made the whole scenario weirder since I'm not that close to her. It was not a jolly gathering in my house and we looked serious and worried. I don't know what I did or how I actually did but I had a bad feeling that I didn't too well. In my dream at least.

Now, that's really stressing me out. No more late night pigging out or TV watching for me now.

my dad

Have you ever watched those commercials that show those news shows or talk shows on CNBC or CNN or something of the like like Larry King Live? Well, I am quite familiar with them as I enjoy watching Jay Leno, mostly for the first half hour of the show only as some of the celebrities are quite obscure names to me. But I am diverting from my topic of the day again.
Well, I had this short "commercial" running through my subconscious head last night. My dad's face was actually included in those commercial type things where they will sort of show one second shots of notable political figures, business type tycoon people and occasionally celebrities. And then my dad's face pops out for just a fraction of a second looking all serious and business like.

Weird.

recurring lords and dreams

Had a Lord of the Rings related dream last night.
I remembered there being Legolas doing what Leggy does. Jumping and prancing and nancing about like an elf would in Middle Earth. It took place in this weird mountaineous region something like the Misty Mountains except that I knew it was not. Somehow, I knew. It looked like it came straight out of from the movies but I knew it wasn't since the Legolas in my dream didn't look a bit like Orlando Bloom, though I inexplicably knew that that was Legolas.
So, yeah that was basically it. Just some elf prancing about with his bow and quiver full of arrows looking all serious like and posing around. It was a pretty short dream like about a minute or two and yet it seemed to last the whole night.
The mentally short sighted has returned.