disturbance

The glaring and nauseating thought of failing anything is enough to make me squirm and very narrowly want to die. No, seriously. How can anyone stand the thought of failing anything? I can't. I don't even know how to cope with it properly.

I have yet to receive any news about that whole Marketing test business. It's sorely depressing and making me anxious just thinking about it. I even had a wholly realistic dream last night that I failed my FLAW paper. Which I don't take till next month though I did hand up my assignment yesterday. I hope it's not an omen indicating I'll get a bad grade. I don't think my heart can take it.

Gah.

daylight robbery

Two dreams in a row in two nights. I think that's a first. Or at least since a very long time since my subconsciousness did that.

It started out in a 7-11-like convenient store where I was shopping for something, I suppose. There were these two fishy looking guys around too with some other shoppers as well. Then, the aforementioned fishy looking guys began to push us around with guns, I expect and suppose because I didn't notice them carrying or pointing them to us, and then this group of us who seemed surprisingly calm and unafraid went into this corner and stayed there for a while.

I think I make quite a cooperative held-up victim. Anyway, they proceeded to empty the register and then I notice myself was bleeding. I think I was shot in the stomach or abdomen area but I didn't feel anything. Not a single feeling of pain or anguish that would make me roll over and moan. I was just surprised that there was a wound there. Next, the robbers began to search our stuff for valuables and money and then left just as quickly as it was all over.

My purse was somehow still in my bag and then went to check its contents intuitively. My money was taken but then I saw what I thought was my credit card. I pulled it up excitedly thinking that the robbers were too stupid or zonked out to notice the plastic card, when I got a weird revelation. It wasn't my card but it wasn't even a real card at all. It was this ugly and unpretty forgery of a credit card but with someone elses' names on it. Yes, names. There were two credit cards in my purse which were fake of course.

One of the names on the cards gave the dream away and then I woke up to unfascinating reality. I'm not going to reveal the names here because it's classified information that will be revealed once I feel that the time is right.

ubiquitous self

Setting: My room and the front yard.

People in the dream: Me, my brother, a few unrecognised friends of the brother, my college friend, Just, and my Dad.

Event: I was in my room studying or something of that sort, maybe researching for an assignment, and the guys were in the front yard having a study group session of some sort too. I'm not sure why Just was there but he was so whatever. My Dad was outside too reading the newspaper, I s'ups, and that was it. Then, there was this ruckus where I got totally pissed with the "noise", even though now that I think of it, I don't remember there being any noise. So, I ran downstairs to confront them because I thought they were the source. I saw one of my brother's friends and proceeded to reprimand him like a crazy bitch from high school, and he just stares at me blankly, which I don't blame him. I returned to the comfort and sanctuary of my room, where I then woke up, and the dream is over.

Conclusion: I'm not a psychiatric but I think that the dream was trying to tell me that I have to break through my safety zone and confront my fears or something I've been dreading or dread. And the fears and dread are probably a feint or ruse and it is nothing after all in the end. Well, here's to hoping that the dream will make some sense to me in the near future or preferably the next day.