deja vu, deja vu

It was another one of those 'day dreams' thing where life just kind of blends in with the un-reality.

It started off pretty odd where I was preparing for an exam except that I had already received my results for that particular test and I was sitting for it again. Weirdness.

Anyway, the oddliness doesn't stop there. A few people was there including A* who was sort of sitting for the same test as I am or maybe we were just going to the same venue for the test as me. The next moment we were at the exam venue except that we were in my old high school where the exam was being held. There were lots of other people there as well just that I don't recognize them or that maybe I just didn't get a good look at the faces in time for me to recognize them.

The next thing that happened was us making our way past hordes of people to get to our exam venue in one of the halls in the school compound. I for one thing don't remember my old high school being so huge but it is a dream so I guess it can be as huge or small as you want it to be.

Then suddenly A* decided to want to have lunch at this place not too far from the school and presto we were at the place wading our way through more throngs of people to a table where two other people was already there. I only recognised or recalled one of the two persons there whom was quite a prominent figure in my ex-residential college back in Melbourne. I wasn't close to him nor did I know him well enough but somehow he managed to pop into my dream. Let's just call him H* for now.

So H* was waiting for us apparently and we had a normal lunch as far as normal dream lunch can get. I mainly recall myself just checking my watch constantly to see if we were late or not. I remember telling myself that the test would start at 5.30pm and that we were going to be late if we didn't leave very soon. Soon after, A* got up and then we left for the exam once again.

I swear that we were quite far away from the school but somehow the next second we were right back there again. We passed several people until we stopped and talked briefly to two other ex-IHers except that the strangest thing was that A* only talked to K*H instead of D* whom she would usually talk to instead of the former. Just an odd thing that I noticed I guess.

Somehow we managed to make it in time for the test to start on the dot. During the test, the strangest thing I noticed about my desk was that there was some past year papers of the same test that I was sitting for and that there were additional notes on it as well. Like it was tempting me to take it and copy from them. Also there was this other ex-IHer sitting in front of me as well, D*C and A* was next to me in the exam hall.

The next thing that happened was me scribbling some answers and then I woke from my slumber.

Overall just another ordinary extraordinary dream.

drenched once, twice shy

A guy named Mike Sloan(e) invaded my head last night while in slumber. The whole dream lacked the usual somewhat credibility that I give my dreams more than normal.

First of all, it took place in a public shower area not unlike that found in the Prison Break showers. Next, it was a co-ed showers where men and women shared a communal shower. Together. Yes. Not joking here. Dreams rarely joke with you even though it seems like one.

And this Mike Sloan(e) guy kept appearing in and out of the dream. First in the showers then later on in another part of an unrelated dream to the co-ed shower dream.

I have no idea who he is or what and why the hell did I dream about such a random dude for. He actually looked a bit like Lane Garrison and Michael J. Fox combined. If ever there were such a person of course.

Anyway, this is not the first in a long series of weird dreams I've been having the past few days since the beginning of the week. I predict more will arise in the coming days.

what went wrong

I don't know if I should feel disturbed or perplexed by last night's dream.

The first part or maybe second, I don't really remember the sequence of when took place earlier or later, might probably have stemmed from my incessant obsession with a certain show called 'Prison Break' for the past week.

I could've sworn that I wasn't actually in a dream if I hadn't woken up from it. I was surrounded by the Fox River Eight in a place which might have been outside the prison walls which means they've escaped and I might have been aiding them or something to escape from the bastardized hands of Bellick and Mahone. Anyway, with the details of the actual events of my dream slipping away now, all I can visually and correctly recall is that Abruzzi kissed me on the mouth.

Yeah. Why couldn't it have been Wentworth Miller? Believe me I want to know why it wasn't him who was in my dream. It was odd and surreal in a way that I actually thought it was reality. Somehow I actually wished it was real but only for a moment.

On to the second part of the dream, I had met up with several friends, both old and new, in this market or night market and was just generall milling around and talking and chatting about our life in general and all that. This wasn't the weird part of the dream but just something I felt need to be said just for posterity of it.

Some dreams are just not meant to be decrypted. But I'm sure I've said this before anyway.

normalcy oddity

I really did intend and planned to post about my three consecutive and odd dreams for the past few days but things came up like exams and stuff happened.

I can barely recall the gist of the dreams I experienced. All I can remember is that at least two out of three of them involved him. Again.

It's become such an anomaly that it's actually normalcy now.

I really need to be quick in detailing my dreams the moment I wake up to be able to actually have a decent dream journal that I can be proud of despite the slightly embarrassing people in my dreams and things that happen in them.

illusionist

Maybe it's just bad luck or perhaps it's something more than that. Might be a premonition instigating something more. Or maybe none at all.

In any case, it actually took me about two seconds to realise that it was a dream and didn't take place in reality last night. The dream involved me going down to the dining hall to refill my bottle with water when I passed the girl dutifully studying more than usual. In reality, the guy wasn't there. But in my dream he was. I hadn't realised it yet but maybe there was a pang of jealousy beckoning to me at the back of my mind when I saw him with the girl.

My luck couldn't possibly get any better or worse than this when you dream about the same guy for the fourth time in five dreams.

Fifth time will be the charmed one going off her rockers.

Good day and good night.

cheesy cracks

Deviating from the usual blogging routine on the other blog, this is just a dream I had last night or maybe two nights ago which is beyond my simple intellect and comprehension. It could be partly due to the stress and cramming precepitating from studying for finals and yet I'm here right now in the middle of it all blogging about some insignificant dream I recalled from last night.

Alright the gist of it had me serving cheese and crackers to a bunch of guys whom I incidentally know but don't understand the relation to why I actually dreamt of them. It was like my brain automatically randomly picked out some guys from deep within my mind and 'pop' there they are.

Why not him is what I want to know?

thrice the luck

Third time's the charm? Not necessarily.

I don't know how much more lucky I can get to actually have a third dream with the same guy on three consecutive dream nights (Not in three days but just the same guy in every dream since the last one).

I can't even recall what last night's one was about but it was definitely taking place in college with a few other random people except that the only person I could remember was him. The topic was vaguely revolving around religion and Christianity and what makes a devout and true Christian.

Like does not going to church every Sunday make one less of a Christian and hence you're losing your faith in the Lord? Is one's faith measured by the perseverence of prayers and longstanding-ness in church and how much you contribute to it? Does reading the bible every night bring one closer to the Lord? How does one quantify a person's faith in their own religion (whether it is Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, or Hinduism)? Can it be measured in the first place?

And does it help that the guy is an atheist.

All this just three days before the first day of my finals. Screw this shit.

naivety eats me

Two dreams happened in just one night a few days ago.

The first one was pretty random things occuring one after another with lots of people in the dream. Can't remember the exact details but it was just another weird dream.

The second one began right after the first one ended with the same guy again as in the previous dream. There was some really odd and dodgy stuff going on so I won't reiterate it here. Just that the main point of the night before is why him again?

It's not that I want to have anything to do with him or particular feelings for him. It just happened.

Perhaps it's just the oddity in me working overtime in the last few days. Combined with a few drinking sessions infused with poker and bridge card games, and Kings drinking game, and you've got a pretty screwed head.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

twice the trouble

Lightning does strike the same place twice. At least for me it does.

I had another one of those dreams about a certain guy person whom I might or might not have a possible crush developing in its early stages.

Just to detract a bit, the colours in dreams apparently tell a lot about the overall mood, person, yourself and atmosphere of the dream. So I will attempt to describe this dream in some what that order.

The dream started off with the guy and I talking and getting a bit close to each other which if I recalled was a cold night hence the closeness. We were excited about attending a comedy act or show in this place 'Comedy House' or 'Comedy Club' where popular comedians come and do their act for a crowd of easy-going people. When we got there there was a long line of people waiting to get into the club. There were lots of bright and colourful lights everywhere we went.

I felt really contented and happy throughout the dream just being with him by my side. It was a normal date thing but not to the extent that we were in a relationship. I don't remember if we actually got into the club but it ended on a relatively happy note I would say. I remember waking up feeling more cheerful than usual despite it being so early in the morning.

The guy is someone whom I never thought I would actually sort of fall for or think of him in that context or way. Why him? Well it could be attributed to us just talking a bit more recently or maybe stemming from my own weird complexities regarding "taken" people. Me falling for "taken" people has already happened twice so far in this year alone. There really must be something wrong with me I think.

Anyway, with the dream locked away in the back of my little mind, I really shouldn't let it get to me and in the way of my every day life.
I mean like him not calling me last night even though he said he would doesn't mean anything. Does it?

orgas-m

Him. It was another dream about the guy again.

Except I can't seem to be able to regurgitate what happened in that dream here now. I just know that he was in it and that I was happy to see him that I didn't realise that I was actually dreaming till I was rudely awaken by the cheerless tone of my alarm.

I want to be with him.

And yet I don't because I know I can't.

resurrected

I died. But I'm still here.

Had one of the scariest and most surreal dream the night before. I was apparently caught in a building complex place where the building was being attacked by terrorists or some assassinating group of people and I was stuck in it with this whole other bunch of people. Screams of terror echoed off the walls and gun shots pierced the hallowed hallways and corridors. I quickly escaped into a restroom where I then proceeded to hide myself in one of the stalls for whatever reason. I think there were a few other people in there as well already. Then a moment later, one of the terrorists invaders slash attackers came into the restroom and banged on the doors to check if anyone was in there. I heard him starting to shoot down the people inside the stalls one by one until I realised he was right outside my own stall. My mind raced insanely and rapidly about my life and all and how that I could and very possibly die right then and there. Then came the fatal shot that went through my abdomen and I immediately started to bleed out.

I heard him leave thereafter leaving us all to bleed to our deaths. I rememebered thinking that this was really how I was dying and that it was all going to end. It was a fairly quick and gnawingly slow effect that death had on me. I recalled being unable to move, then not being able to breathe properly and then finally my eyes closing sealing the living world away from me.

I awoke to my amazement that it was actually all a dream as it had felt so real and that I really thought that I had died. Maybe this is really the life after death. And that I actually had already died in a previous life which I unknowingly dreamt and all that I've been experiencing is really all a dream. That this all isn't real.

How does one ascertain the dream from the reality? I'm just too afraid as of now to determine that.

quandary

Really had three consecutive dreams in the past three nights but decided to actually post about them after last night's one.

The previous ones involved myself sitting for examinations again in Melbourne, being late for exams, and the dream last night had me meeting up with a friend who does not resemble anything like I know her in reality.

Can't say much about the dreams now as I've forgotten most of the details but feel free to dissect them and give me your thoughts and views on them.

luck had nothing to do with it

Not the oddest dream I've ever had yet but it's still up there on my "Weird Dreams Ever" list.

The atmosphere of the whole dream felt like I was actually living another ordinary day. But with the "person"; V. It wasn't until I woke up that I knew it was a dream. It felt like the beginning of this initially non-relationship thing we had but then in the dream we sort of became closer until he could actually reach for my hand and interlock our fingers together. And this wasn't in some secluded or where it was only the both of us but with alot of people around as well. He just started holding my hand, cupping I suppose, and then before I knew it we were stuck to each other by our hands.

It went on for about the whole day until I woke up of course. Just the two of us being together without letting our hands part. It was a nice feeling. Definitely.

But the problem is that I don't have any more attachments or feelings for V. Not now and probably not in the future. This is the third dream I've had that involved him in the picture. So it was a bit of an odd feeling for me when I woke up to find that I actually dreamt of him and that I really didn't feel that attraction even slightly. Not the least bit. In addition to that fact, I think he doesn't as well even though I felt like he did show some interest in the beginning but I think we've come to this unsaid but mutual understanding that we may not be right for each other even though I/he used to like him/me.

Do I feel sad? Not really. Do I wish that I actually still had those diminished feelings? Possibly.

This is probably due to the large fact that I think I actually retain those lost and found feelings I've felt for J since early this semester. Somehow talking to him yesterday managed to resurrect those burried and that I had thought was long gone feelings. Which I really do wish it remained tucked away somewhere in my mind.

But anyway, the conclusion is that I always dream about the oddest things and at the most awkward times and moments.

umm...that's just it

I really couldn't be bothered to give a boring and totally unrelated but somewhat related title to my dream blog post of today so that will have to suffice.

Concerning the dream last night, it was a rather interesting one. Interesting from the fact that it involved V and me including some few other random people which I have no idea or clue as to how they managed to sneak their way into my dream.

The main part of the dream basically involved V having told me that he liked me in return. I hadn't expressed my part of the liking thing as yet but only after him having said that, then only did I admit it myself. So cliched but it's my dream and I'll dream it how I want it to be!

I can't remember where it took place at but waking from it I actually thought it really happened the night before. It took me a while to get my subconsciousness together and realise the bare facts and hard truth.

A few friends have been asking about us already and the truth is I really don't know what's going to happen or what is happening even now. I don't know if I want to make it happen or if he wants to as well. But I shall leave all this meanderings and ponderings to my actual daily or somewhat daily slash weekly blog.

Happy dreams to all who reads this!

questionables

It's been a really long time since my last dream post, I know, and relish that abandonment but I suppose it is time I continue on my subconscious journey that is my indecipherable mind.

The cast in this reported dream shall be known by letters as denoted in the alphabet system for fear that one of the named persons in my dream may stumble upon my blog and blow my cover for being a closet blogger and odd dreamer.

The first part of my dream was simply unimaginable, horrifying, traumatising and just plain wrong. Two out of the three guys in this post that I wrote about a month back appeared in this dream too. The second guy, J, talked about in the post was involved in this first part of the dream. I think I was in and out of the dream like I was sometimes interacting within the dream but other times I would be "watching" my dream. So yeah, the setting was at night, probably after a night out of partying and boozing. I saw J heading towards this fancy looking car, which looked remarkably like a red flaming Ferrarri or Lamborghini, half-pissed and drunk or maybe fully drunk even searching for his keys to his car.

Only in dreams can you have cool cars and all things shiny and glittery.

To proceed on with the dream, J opened the front door of the two-door vehicle and H was already sitting inside the car for some reason looking tipsy bordering on drunken state. He was clutching a slim beer bottle and some words were exchanged between J and H when they suddenly started making out on the driver's seat.

I could have sworn that there were two more other people in the car as well but I can't be sure as to who they were. But they don't matter so I ignored them and they dissolved in the dream.

The second totally unrelated part of the dream involved V and myself only. I can't remember as to what really happened or went on but it was not as traumatising or unbelievable as to what J and H did together. At that time, I was already drifting in and out of and between dreamless and sleepless states. I couldn't really tell which parts were dream-filled or reality-filled. It was only when the phone rang that triggered me out of my dream and threw me back into the real world.

So, to the many questions that need to be answered in my own reality, I just created a whole bunch more to add to the peripheral list that I already have and don't want.

karma on the run

Last night's dream was probably the most exciting (or second most exciting) and best recollectable dream I ever had or at least remember having. I actually can't wait to go back to sleep tonight and see if I can continue the dream and find out what happens in the end. If it ever ends.

To help you get an idea of what my dream is all about, it was an "X-Men: Evolution" themed dream/episode where I assumed the character called Spyke. And he's my least likeable character too on the show. Whatever. Let's begin the dream in question here.


I (meaning me as Spyke) was getting ready to join this race in a maze like competition akin to the Third Task as in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'. There were loads of other people as well like me already there but the unusual thing about it was that the rest of the people were black kids like me. Each and every single one of them. I'm not trying to be racist or anything here but it's just something that I noticed and found slightly odd. The two referees or judges were none other than Ororo aka Storm and Logan aka Wolverine.

Not too long after I arrived, the race took off and I immediately dashed and found myself in the lead already. I had amazing stamina and speed where the most amazing thing that I recalled from the dream was that I did a lot of running. I remembered running on and on through the maze or hedge-lined paths for what seemed forever and strangely I don't recall getting tired or exhausted at all. I could see people trailing behind me and I felt happy that I was first and had a huge lead.

Suddenly I came upon Rogue climbing over some hedges ahead of me. And it wasn't regular Rogue. She was incredibly 'chibi' like in appearance but not so 'South Park' like as in the image but more like tiny-anime-chibi likeness. She was like a plushy toy except that she could move, talk, and run like a normal person. So, chibi-Rogue was climbing over the hedges and was just frantic like rabidly trying to run away from somewhere or someone. I tried calling her to no avail so I chased her through rows of thorny hedges until I finally caught up because she was so small. When I grabbed her, I could hold her body in my own hand like a tiny doll when she suddenly fainted in my hand. I didn't know what to do so of all things to do, I just decided to continue the race.I still held Rogue in my hand though.

When I returned to the race path, I was still way ahead of everyone else even though I took a fairly long detour when I chased Rogue. I continued on the race with the unconscious chibi-Rogue grasped neatly and softly in my hand. After running for a while more, and turning right I came upon this gorge in the middle of the path where there was this hole in the wall on my right. The hole looked like something or someone big destroyed it and left this disaster area right in the middle of the pathway. I very narrowly escaped from falling into the gorge. I just then proceeded to track carefully over it by clinging to the edge and getting across safely.

Still I ran and ran without stopping for a breather even until I came to this big fork in the path. The left one lead to a bridge where the bridge lead to another maze like path with hedges all around. The right one lead to a dodgy looking path into some building that looked like a mad scientist's secret laboratory place. Then suddenly, the building actually flashed for a moment revealing a concealed building behind it like a hologram image which then flicked back on again.

I don't know why but I actually decided to take the right path instead of investigating it or even think about trying to get Rogue some help. And I still held her in my hand as I ran ahead to the next path.

Where upon I then woke up. And I swear that for a minute or two I could still feel Rogue in my own hand. It took a while for me to wake myself up mentally and recover from that dream and not feel like I was a mutant. Oh yeah, I also didn't even use any of my own mutant powers during the whole time I was there. The running without exhaustion was not Spyke's powers but something else entirely.

I'm still trying to decipher what the dream meant to me but I seem to be doing a lot of running in my dreams recently. There were a few dreams on several separate nights ago where I recalled running too. I really wonder why I was running and where to or where from.

vulgar thoughts

Let me regale you about the recent dreams I've been having. It is embarrassing for me to explain them but if I didn't express about them in some form sooner, I would think that they will continue and develop further. Which is something I am not particularly looking forward to.

They were two consecutive dreams occurring on two consecutive nights. The first one had me lying on my own bed with someone beside me. On the same bed. It's taking me so much resolve to even put this down in words. It was Tom Welling. Yes. The guy from 'Smallville'. Of all people. But let's not skip to that as I'm saving that portion of the rant for later after the retelling of the dreams. So, we were on my bed. And no, we were not doing anything 'sexual' if your mind starts to wonder into areas unknown. We were just lying there on my bed talking. About normal stuff. I think we were holding hands probably. And the room was dark as in night-time darkness. I don't know what we were talking about but I know I felt calm and at ease with him. Just like a really close and comfortable friend. Except that he was Tom and not someone I actually knew in real life. There was a little sexual tension between us when our feet touched but nothing went beyond that. Allow your imagination to go wild all you want, but I am firmly saying that the atmosphere was of innocent, weird, first-love kind of feeling, and awkwardness.

Hence, ended the first dream. At first I couldn't even remember much about this first dream, let alone what it meant or why I had it. That is until the sequel happened.

The continuation of the dream started off with us returning to the talking and the extremely odd closeness that we were experiencing. I was starting to feel uncomfortable at this point but not so much as to rush out and hyperventilate. Then, of all people, my father comes crashing into my room and starts raving away about me possessing every bad trait a person could have while blindly ignoring the other person in the room. After raving for about a minute or so, only then did he acknowledge Tom's presence in the room. Followed by some more raving and embarrassing awkward moments, and I woke up.

So that's basically it. What I'm most concerned about these two connecting dreams is why on earth would I ever dream about someone like Tom Welling? It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think he's hot, nor do I like watching Smallville, or liking anything related to Superman except for the Batman part but this has nothing to do with Supes nor Tom. So, yeah, the amazingness that my subconscious can ever produce something as outwardly and incredible as these dreams is beyond my comprehension. Sans the sexual tension but non-sexual feelings.

I think pieces of me are slowly degenerating where I understand less and less about what's going on inside of my own head. Somehow these two dreams are seriously affecting me in ways I don't understand at all and I don't want it to. My grip on reality is slowly slipping away.

I need someone to save me.

visit to miami

The dream last night was probably a premonition of a future season finale episode of CSI: Miami on AXN this coming Wednesday night. Nevertheless, I just thought it would be fun to detail this odd dream I had of Mr. Caine.

The setting was all CSI: Miami like in a typical episode. Yellowish bright, lush green and beautiful sunset or sunrise, depending on the time of day. Everything began like a normal and usual episode of Miami with someone getting murdered, axed, strangled, tossed down 30 storeys high, or stabbed. Each of them ending in death of course because you can't have an episode of any CSI being without a dead victim. Or maybe two if the story calls for it.

Getting ahead of my point here, everything was really playing out like an ordinary episode except that, I'm ashamed to even mention the highlight of my dream, Horatio Caine was dancing. By himself. In the middle of a road. And everyone else was oblivious to this except me watching this episode.

I think I'm embarrassed not because I really am, but for him. There is no way of explaining how my brain works. Or at least how my subconscious part works. A neurologist would be interested in knowing what makes me tick, I expect.

When it ended, meaning I woke up, I was really quite relieved. No, I did not wake up laughing.