resurrected

I died. But I'm still here.

Had one of the scariest and most surreal dream the night before. I was apparently caught in a building complex place where the building was being attacked by terrorists or some assassinating group of people and I was stuck in it with this whole other bunch of people. Screams of terror echoed off the walls and gun shots pierced the hallowed hallways and corridors. I quickly escaped into a restroom where I then proceeded to hide myself in one of the stalls for whatever reason. I think there were a few other people in there as well already. Then a moment later, one of the terrorists invaders slash attackers came into the restroom and banged on the doors to check if anyone was in there. I heard him starting to shoot down the people inside the stalls one by one until I realised he was right outside my own stall. My mind raced insanely and rapidly about my life and all and how that I could and very possibly die right then and there. Then came the fatal shot that went through my abdomen and I immediately started to bleed out.

I heard him leave thereafter leaving us all to bleed to our deaths. I rememebered thinking that this was really how I was dying and that it was all going to end. It was a fairly quick and gnawingly slow effect that death had on me. I recalled being unable to move, then not being able to breathe properly and then finally my eyes closing sealing the living world away from me.

I awoke to my amazement that it was actually all a dream as it had felt so real and that I really thought that I had died. Maybe this is really the life after death. And that I actually had already died in a previous life which I unknowingly dreamt and all that I've been experiencing is really all a dream. That this all isn't real.

How does one ascertain the dream from the reality? I'm just too afraid as of now to determine that.

quandary

Really had three consecutive dreams in the past three nights but decided to actually post about them after last night's one.

The previous ones involved myself sitting for examinations again in Melbourne, being late for exams, and the dream last night had me meeting up with a friend who does not resemble anything like I know her in reality.

Can't say much about the dreams now as I've forgotten most of the details but feel free to dissect them and give me your thoughts and views on them.

luck had nothing to do with it

Not the oddest dream I've ever had yet but it's still up there on my "Weird Dreams Ever" list.

The atmosphere of the whole dream felt like I was actually living another ordinary day. But with the "person"; V. It wasn't until I woke up that I knew it was a dream. It felt like the beginning of this initially non-relationship thing we had but then in the dream we sort of became closer until he could actually reach for my hand and interlock our fingers together. And this wasn't in some secluded or where it was only the both of us but with alot of people around as well. He just started holding my hand, cupping I suppose, and then before I knew it we were stuck to each other by our hands.

It went on for about the whole day until I woke up of course. Just the two of us being together without letting our hands part. It was a nice feeling. Definitely.

But the problem is that I don't have any more attachments or feelings for V. Not now and probably not in the future. This is the third dream I've had that involved him in the picture. So it was a bit of an odd feeling for me when I woke up to find that I actually dreamt of him and that I really didn't feel that attraction even slightly. Not the least bit. In addition to that fact, I think he doesn't as well even though I felt like he did show some interest in the beginning but I think we've come to this unsaid but mutual understanding that we may not be right for each other even though I/he used to like him/me.

Do I feel sad? Not really. Do I wish that I actually still had those diminished feelings? Possibly.

This is probably due to the large fact that I think I actually retain those lost and found feelings I've felt for J since early this semester. Somehow talking to him yesterday managed to resurrect those burried and that I had thought was long gone feelings. Which I really do wish it remained tucked away somewhere in my mind.

But anyway, the conclusion is that I always dream about the oddest things and at the most awkward times and moments.