sexy back

Okay. Imagine this scene.

You're talking casually with your younger brother (or sister or any other relations if this doesn't apply to you) about whatever that's been going on that day. Then, the topic switches to attending any recent concerts or shows lately. He starts telling you about thinking about going to one but don't know if he can or not because he hasn't gotten any money or something like that.

Then he suddenly realizes that he can go for one even though he doesn't really like the singer but he'll go anyway. He rings someone up and then a second later, Justin Timberlake appears at our door. The brother starts to talk casually with him like an old friend and you're awestruck by Justin Timberlake's presence there. (let's assume for continuity and easiness sake that you are a fan of Justin) Justin rambles on about having to do something around the area or something and that your brother was just calling him up with a favour that is getting choice front row seats at his concert on that very night in the very same city that you and your brother are at.


Amazing coincidences aren't they? They don't come as awesome as that anymore.

So to continue, Justin and the brother shake hands, say their goodbyes and Justin gives a slight acknowledgment of you standing agape at him and he's gone. Gone as quick and sleek as the slippery shiny singer dude he is.

And with that, the scene is cut and over. How's that for a dream eh? I wouldn't mind those JT concert tickets but seeing as there's about a few thousand kilometres between me and my younger brother, not to mention the sea, I don't see how he could teleport himself here to be ready for the show.

from beyond

Man, just when I thought my dreams couldn't get any weirder, my jumbled mind goes and pulls a stunt like the one I had last night.

It wasn't just weird, it was hella strange. It seemed like every piece from every corner of my mind came crashing down together on this big landing strip that was my subconsciousness and started forming odd goings-on which was unheard of or even aware of at all.

One of the more vivid recollection of my dream last night was that of this kingpin dude from Prison Break selling his wares in a cafeteria and talking with his customers in daily Malay language as if he had been talking that way for ever. First of all, he's Panamanian in character and probably American in reality, so I don't know where the Malay speaking part came from. Secondly, I think when it was my turn to order some food, I tried ordering some dish that looked like rendang with rice but opted for the nasi goreng in the end. Also, I didn't have enough money at that time and remember thinking that AUD$10 for a dish of nasi goreng was a ripoff. And the whole time the non-Malay-so-obviously-American dude was conversing with me in Malay. And I don't think I paid off my friend who loaned me the rest of the money to buy my food.

After getting my food, I remember I was with this friend, whom I cannot remember now but just that we were all wearing the same clothes. Kind of like those psycho wards in the hospitals or mental institutions except that this one looks a lot like the one in Heroes where the Company abducts people and do crazy experiments and inject them with deadly viruses. So yes, there were other people as well eating and talking and I remember vividly this guy who looked like Gin from the anime Bleach except that he wasn't in anime form but rather what he would look like if he was a real human being in the real world.

Then, the scene switched to me sitting at a table with my nasi goreng and eating our meal with some other people whom I didn't recognise but appear to know. I can't really remember what happened after that but I would presume that I finished my meal and then went back to wherever we came from in that odd place.

So, what did I learn from this dream? That I'm watching too much Heroes, Prison Break and Bleach probably. And that the more I attempt to interpret my dreams, the more confused I become. Perhaps it's just time to let go, enjoy the ride and take it all in for once.

Oh and just a little reminder about you people not getting into Heroes yet. Do it! If not you're missing out on some hot shirtless Peter/Milo nekkidness action, which almost half of the episodes so far this season have the ever steaming and sizzling Milo half-naked, wet, angsty and just looking smoking hot in every scene he's in. Clothed or not. But I prefer him unclothed, don't you?

juxtapositions

It's been too long. Way too long. It's not that I don't dream anymore. I do but it just didn't seem interesting or forgettable to remember to blog about them.

But this one is different.

As usual, there'll be no names attached to the persons mentioned. Many things have last passed since the last dream recorded so I won't bother trying to keep anything up to speed.

So anyway, about a month and a half ago, I met some new friends, we started going out, bonding, that kind of stuff, and doing things together as a group, blah blah blah. Only thing is that there is this one person, BS, who I kinda have a crush thing for but there are some things that time cannot and ever will be able to smoothen out the creases, so that's no-man's land there in pursuing the person and all.

Which brings me back to the dream. It happened like this. The group of us were at a party or something where there were lots of other guests, plenty of food, good music, and formal looking people there as well. Nothing sleazy or dodgy, just a fun little event where everyone seemed nice and dressed pretty and handsomely, and made small talk with each other. We were mingling around, having fun, talking to people and then I finally got around to talking to him and we chatted and was friendly enough as usual. No suspicious activity to suggest anything more, yet.

When we were going up a small flight of stairs to get some food, he casually put his arm around my waist and gently directed me in the way of whatever we were ooh-ing and aah-ing then. So I responded innocently by placing my hand on one of his arms and suddenly we got a bit too touchy feely even for my taste and comfort zone since we were in a public place and we weren't even in a relationship lest I know him well enough yet. There wasn't anything to be censored going on but just that it felt like things were taking several leaps and bounds too fast.

I could feel eyes poking and pricking the back of my head already but we just somewhat continued as normal and suddenly he held my hand and led me somewhere else. Then, a couple of people approached us and we sort of parted for a while to join the others and continued our mingling.

It was just weird. He is cute, his charm oozes when he speaks, his eyes deep-set, and his smile practically screams a certain sparkle there, but like I said, time can't be the healer or cure of everything.

Perhaps prayer, a little bit of hope, and a whole lot of faith will bring me closer to the answer I'm searching for.

In the mean time, at least there's one guy whom I know I can always ogle at though my reach is light years away from him. Nonetheless, I am contented with that knowledge just as long as he continues to bring sexy back every now and then.

Milo "Droolness, Hotness, Nekkidness" Ventimiglia

questions (un)answered

How do you know if you really know a person?

Even when it's only been less than two months or so.

Would it mean more significant if you started having dreams about him/her?

If that dream came about because you managed to will yourself into dreaming about him/her.

Does it say something about yourself when you begin missing him/her even before he/she has left?

When you purportedly started a tiny chain of meetings that you know he/she has to see you again before he/she leaves for that uncharted place.

Would one go so far as to hunt for a farewell gift even when you know you barely know him/her and he/she knows that too?

And it's even more difficult when you can sense a connection you've never had that luxury for a long time.

What do you do when all your anticipation and hopes into getting into a chance meeting with him/her are all you have in this time of stress and dilemma?

And you sadly realize albeit too late that dreams are all you have to cherish those moments together.

(Tiny teensy detail update on the dream that I just managed to somehow recall about. It was an image of one of my current favourite person combined with a disgusting habit I very recently discovered that someone close to me developed.)

triple threat

The usual dreaming suspects cropped up again last night when I was visited by the sandman.

The first dream involved a guy I know who is pretty well known so names will not be mentioned but let's just say that he has a history but just not with me. I just remembered a lot of water everywhere and that he was mopping it all up for some reason and there was a lot of other girls flocking around him as well, which isn't that far removed from reality actually.

The second dream was me sitting in this huge lecture hall with a few other people and one of my previous lecturers was there as well. He was directing us to do something or listen to him or other.

The third dream is just a blank to me.

I only know that there was three dreams happening last night where I weaved in and out of the dreams. Sort of like moving from one room to the other but the story line continuing despite me being gone so there were some gaps of memory there.

Water always seem to be a recurring theme in my dreams. Wet dreams anyone?

valiant fare

It's one freakishly surreal nightmare after another.

Last night's one was no different. It's been a rather long break since I last dreamed a nightmare which literally had me spooked for quite a long while before I managed to return back to sleep.

The basic premise was just that my house was being attacked for some reason. Maybe another terrorist attack as like a previous dream a long time ago. My family was around me and I had to use the bathroom for a moment. I was washing my hands when gun shots were heard from outside but I was probably too stunned to do anything but just stood there with the water running and not doing anything to help my family or whatever.

After a whole minute, I opened the door and saw that my dad was slumped over in a heap with blood all over his body and my mom and my brothers staring in shock and disbelief over what was happening.

My mother started screaming at me why didn't I get shot too because apparently the bathroom was shot at as well. It just felt for a moment that she wanted me to be the one lying on the floor drenched in blood rather than my dad.

My dad was breathing heavily and exasperatedly. We were basically panicking and screaming at each other over what to do. No one seemed to think of calling an ambulance or the police.

It was then that I woke up and realised that I was back in my room and not surrounded by crazy shouting family members and blood soaked dying people.

Why do my dreams all end gory and painfully?

lapsing away

I guess I have to admit first that this isn't so much of a dream but more of another strange occurrence that happened early this morning.

I think it's called sleep paralysis but it seemed a lot more terrifying than being described. I guess it could be attributed to that whole folk tales retelling in a predominantly superstitious family and community where I was brought up in and still am surrounded by even though I am miles away from my origins, so to speak.

Anyway it had to do with this weird sensation of first realizing that the top of my blanket around my chest area was being shifted or rifled slightly and then there was a weight being pressed down upon my chest as if there was some presence sitting atop me. I couldn't really move or more like I was afraid of moving the top half of my body. My eyes were closed the entire time as well because I was too, admittedly scared to see what was really happening to my body.

Despite it all sounding very dodgy and fake but frankly very aptly constructed, it really did happen to me early this morning just moments when I awoken. The feeling or sensation eventually passed after a minute or so and I didn't want to get up for fear that something might happen or it might occur again.

However, after looking up some online resources about this sort of occurrences I feel slightly better as it seems to be fairly common and not at all strange. I just hope that this one was the last feeling that I would experience as it is not a nice one to imagine nor go through with.

unlike reality

Throughout the night images of swapping classes to this one particular day kept replaying and recurring in my head almost as if it was meant to happen.

So, upon waking up I immediately turned on the computer, logged on the class-swapping website thing-o and painfully waited to try to successfully changed the allocated class which I do not want to the one I really wanted.

Albeit unsuccessfully of course.

And I actually really thought that I could change my class today even. Bah!

Another subconscious reality laden dream, another night.

too real

Suddenly dreaming became all too real an experience for me to handle. It came in the form of last night's dream which I'm too convinced to believe that it is a sign or omen but I don't want it to be true.

It was about our house almost getting broken into where the robber attacked my mother while she was getting inside the car as we were pulling out from inside our house. I was still inside the car as he sprang from nowhere and wanted to get inside the car first but it was locked. So he being frustrated pushed my mother down and began pounding on the front door of the house to let him in seeing as his plans probably went awry so needed another one.

That was when I woke up.

This isn't the first time I've had dreams like this. But it felt so much real this time. I stayed awake for some time before I managed to fall back asleep in the middle of the night trying to convince myself that it was just a dream. But I know otherwise.

I can't explain it but I know it's just not a dream but something much more.

I just hope and pray that I'm wrong.

waking life

Even though it only lasted for but less than ten seconds, it was a very odd dream to say the least. It was like deja vu but not.

It was more like waking twice or dreaming that you were dreaming. I knew that I woke up from the dream that I had when I was dreaming that I had it by checking what time it was. Then when I actually totally woke up I realised that it was just a dream that I had when I just dreamt it up.

Does this make any sense?

Not to me at least.